Fight Night

The other night, after I quickly checked my email on the kitchen computer, I trudged over to the fridge.  As I was staring into the nearly empty freezer hoping that dinner would magically appear, I heard a scuffle break out.  For the past couple of weeks, the Princess and the Pirate have been hovering near the computer like harpies circling for food.  They've been constantly arguing over who should have access to the the computer, and they've filed numerous complaints with the Court of Mommy. 

The Pirate has recently abandoned his quest to locate the most asinine online stunt videos imaginable (like people flinging themselves off roofs and souping up cars to fly them off ramps).  Now he's obsessed with a purportedly educational online video game that he maintains will prepare him to be an architect.  In presenting her case for computer access, the Princess has countered that if she doesn't visit her Webkinz to dress them up for fashion shows, they might die from loneliness.  Do any of us want Webkinz blood on our hands?  Not to mention that the Princess might decide to be a fashion designer someday, so Webkinz World is providing her with valuable training.  She also needs to visit the PBS Kids' website, which is educational too; if she doesn't get her quality time with Ruff Ruffman, her brain might just atrophy to the point where she can no longer function.

As I stood at the fridge, the shouting escalated and I knew that blows were being exchanged.  Instead of rushing in to mediate the dispute, I decided to take a different approach.  Dropping the frozen broccoli that I had just picked up, I dashed over to the computer and started enthusiastically screaming:  "Fight!  Fight!  Fight!"  The Princess and the Pirate dropped their arms and looked up at me like I was crazy.  "Hey,"  I said gleefully, "some people pay a lot of money for pay-per-view fights.  I get a ringside seat to Godzilla v. Mothra for free!"  Sensing that they were the butt of my joke, the Princess and the Pirate slunk away to play with their Polly Pockets and Legos.  I returned to the fridge and continue to root about for food, basking in the glorious victory of sarcasm over stupidity.

The Secret to Happiness

As I was bounding through the sunshine on my five mile run this morning, flirting with the RayBan clad mailman who cruises through my neighborhood, I was reveling in pure joy.  Belting out tunes as I sprinted past dog walkers and people pushing strollers, I didn't care who heard me singing.  I was on fire, and people were either going to participate in my infectious happiness, or I was going to ignore them.

When I reached the final stretch of my run, Ne-yo's butter-smooth voice came over my ipod:  "Girl let me love you, and I will love you until you learn to love yourself."  Ne-yo's selfless offer got me thinking about happiness.  Over the years, I've learned that it is impossible to be truly happy unless you love yourself unconditionally.  As parents and friends, we would never dream of uttering demeaning words to our children and loved ones, and yet, I've met so many people who continually berate themselves.  I refuse to engage in such negative self talk.  As corny as it may sound, I try to treat myself with the same dignity and respect that I give to others.  I take time to do things that I enjoy every day and let my inner-cheerleader celebrate my successes and console me for my failures.  I love myself unconditionally and that is a huge part of my happiness.

Of course, I didn't always treat myself so well.  Twenty-one years ago, I met a man who changed everything because he was willing to love me until I could learn to love myself.  His unwavering devotion and love taught me to let go of my perfectionist ideals and to laugh at and embrace my weaknesses and idiosyncrasies.  I learned to see myself as he sees me, and I've been happy ever since.

Sometimes we all need someone to sweep in and love us unconditionally until we can learn to love ourselves.  Now that I've found my happiness, I try to give the same unconditional love that I give to myself to my children and friends.  Happiness really is contagious, and if you let someone love you . . . you may end up loving yourself. 

Intellectual Diversity

I'm embarrassed to admit that when I was younger, I was under the mistaken impression that achievement in school was an excellent measure of intelligence.  A classic overachiever who would settle for nothing less than an A, I sacrificed my intellectual integrity many times to please dogmatic professors.  I also routinely underestimated my classmates' abilities. 

As I've grown older, I've learned to appreciate the diversity of humanity and marvel at the differences in the way that people think.  As the mother of a dyslexic, I've learned through first-hand experience that school grades are neither a proxy for intelligence nor a predictor of future success.  As Albert Einstein once said:  "Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."  

How to Beat Back the Winter Doldrums

In the past three hours, our weather here in Vermont has vacillated between sunshine, rain, something that sort of seemed like sleet, and a raging blizzard.  At least we got a peek of the sun.  But seriously, this time of year is enough to make even the most sane and highly functioning person feel like they are going to come completely unhinged.  "Cabin fever" doesn't even come close to describing the absolute desperation and dreariness that can take hold of even the most resilient person.  So to help you get out of your funk, here are my ten favorite ways to beat back the winter blues:

1.  Go to the store and buy flowers.  Today I purchased a cheery bunch of yellow tulips from my local florist.  Trust me, ten dollars is a lot cheaper than a therapist's bill.

2.  Go ahead and have that chocolate bar.  It's scientifically proven that dark chocolate releases endorphins.  So what are you waiting for?  Eat up!

3.  Plug in the disco ball and turn up the music.  Nothing beats dancing in your living room until you sweat.  Don't just sway back and forth . . . really bring it.   No one's watching.  And who cares if someone is watching?  I'm sure they'll enjoy the show.  If you are feeling more adventurous, take a dancing class like Zumba or go to a club.

4.  Go for a drive in the car, blast the radio, and belt out some tunes.  Singing in the car will not only make you feel better, it will bring a smile to the people in the cars around you.  Don't hold back, really let it rip.

5.  Invite some friends over.  I know your house is probably a complete post-Christmas disaster zone, but who cares?  Your true friends honestly don't.  They will be happy to get out of their own hovels.  You don't have to make anything fancy to entertain.  Just serve pasta for dinner or pancakes for breakfast.  The point is to get together and laugh.

6.  Make something unusual for dinner.  Go buy some fresh lemons, limes, cilantro, or other leafy green herbs.  Find a recipe online and try something you ordinarily wouldn't cook during the winter.  Fresh fish tacos anyone?  With a side of chipotle-lime mayo and fresh pina coladas?

7.  Browse a summery magazine.  I like to delve into the pages of Coastal Living at this time of year.  If you can't afford to go to Fiji, at least you can daydream about it.

8.  Dress up!  I know that the easiest thing to do is pull on some sweats and layer up with turtlenecks.  But this is the perfect time of year to throw together an adventurous ensemble that looks fresh out of a magazine.  There are great post-Christmas sales and this weather is a perfect excuse to wear some textured tights.

9.  Take a long, luxurious bubble bath. 

10.  Read a romance novel or buy one for your significant other.  Winter is the perfect time to cuddle up next to your loved one.  Again, research proves that hugging produces endorphins.  But why stop there?  I always say go big or go home.