Why Rihanna Needs to Get a Girlfriend

I was out on my long run today listening to Rihanna's new song, the "Only Girl in the World."  I love its relentless, infectious beat and Rihanna's sassy vocals.  I have repeatedly turned this tune up and danced around my living room like a madwoman.  There's no question that Rihanna is extraordinarily talented, but as I started to focus on the words, I begin to wonder just what is wrong with Rihanna.  We all know that her haunting vocals on Eminem's song probably reflect more than just an artistic statement.  Here is a woman who has been battered in the past singing about how she doesn't mind being abused because she "like[s] the way it hurts" and "love[s] the way [her abuser] lies."  And now she is pleading with a lover to treat her like she is "the only girl in the world."  While these lyrics might only be a form of artistic expression, my hunch is that they mirror Rihanna's own personal search for love and attention.

As a woman, I can certainly understand how amazing it feels when another person gives you all of their attention and treats you like you are the only thing that matters in the world.  Obsessive, all-encompassing love is passionate and fun, but it is far from healthy.  I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who literally treats me like I am the only thing that matters in the world.  As I really started to think about what Rihanna was asking for, I realized that being "the only girl in the world" would be a frightening proposition.

One of the biggest sources of love and fulfillment in my life is the amazing group of women that I am honored to call my friends.  They are strong, capable people who are all very different and have unique talents and passions.  One of my friends is a powerful triathlete who has a crusty exterior but an inner heart of gold; she generously devotes an enormous amount of her life to helping dysfunctional families on a volunteer basis.  Another friend is a passionate artist who has amazed me not only with the beauty of her paintings and jewelry, but with the beauty of her own soul.  She is a fiery woman who is not afraid to dance with me in front of a crowd and never shies away from a challenge.  Another friend is an intelligent, successful businesswoman who constantly enters into complicated political and philosophical debates with me, but still enjoys dancing, belting out tunes in front of an audience, and scanning sales racks for the latest fashionable clothes.  Yet another friend is a social media genius who I am convinced will not stop networking until she has connected herself to every person on the planet.  And then there is the beautiful singer with flowing long hair, who literally makes her friends break out in goosebumps whenever she graces us with a song.  These are just examples, but all of the women that I count as my friends have several things in common.  They are confident, self-assured women who know who they are and are not afraid to be themselves.  They have discovered their talents and nurtured them.  They are truly beautiful people and I feel privileged to have them in my life.  Time with them nourishes my soul and makes me a stronger, healthier person.  I look forward to many more years of laughing until we cry, dancing defiantly with people half our age, and singing at the top of our lungs.  At the beginning of breast cancer awareness month, I am deeply grateful that I am not the only girl in the world.